ON DECIDING TO BE FLATTERED

We have had so much rain in our area this year.  It has been wonderful for the flowers and the vegetables.  Not so wonderful for basements.


Yes, we had flooding in one of our basement bedrooms.  Luckily it took place during the time that I am living down here during our bathroom renovation.  Otherwise I might not have noticed for a month, or more.


Yesterday I came into my bedroom to get a sweatshirt and I heard a gurgling sound.  I went over to one of the windows and my sneakers squished, squished.
Oh no! I thought we had solved this problem. The towels I laid down  quickly soaked through. There was  water swirling toilet bowl fashion in a window well off the room.  I knew I couldn't wait 3 days until the weekend to do something. Off I went to the garden center to get more gravel for the window wells that abut this room.
It is a stopgap  until Mr. DB and I figure out the next step to address this problem.
Have you ever bought bags of gravel or rocks?  We once bought a 10 pound bag of gravel and it was about the size of the smallest kitty litter bag.  Gravel is very heavy.
After several queries at the garden center I was directed to the gravel.  A fit looking 30 year old waved his hand, "over there".  Off I went with my little cart.  Sure enough, these smallish bags were quite heavy.  Twenty pounds easy.  I have been working out lately, but I need to up my game if lifting gravel is going to be an everyday occurrence.
But I managed to load them onto my little cart.  Three bags.  Wheeled them to the cashier and paid.  No one asked, "do you need help?"
What is this?  Do I look capable of managing this load? Apparently so.

And so I did.  I wheeled the cart as close to my trunk as possible and eased each bag in.  I did it on my own.  When I got home, I got the wheelbarrow and got the bags as close to the windows as possible, carting small amounts of gravel over.
What is the lesson here?  I'm going to say it is that when people assume we can do something, we do it.  We live up to the expectation, we meet the moment, we push ourselves.
When we get older, the world conspires not to push us. It's nice when people are so helpful.  But we must take the reins and force ourselves to do more than we thought we could.
It's so easy when someone asks, "do you need help?"  Yes, yes, I want to say.
But I have to fight against this urge.  I have to look and be capable.  I can do it.  As long as I can I want to do it.
But I do have to fight that urge to ask someone to do it for me.
Life is a battle between me and me.


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